


Naiveté

by Whedonista93



Series: A Bit Macabre [4]
Category: Addams Family - All Media Types, Kingsman (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crossover, Darcy Lewis is Wednesday Addams, F/M, Wednesday Addams is Darcy Lewis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:35:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26887465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whedonista93/pseuds/Whedonista93
Summary: One of these days, Eggsy is going to figure out how Aunt Wen always shows up exactly when he needs her.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Darcy Lewis, Wednesday Addams/James "Bucky" Barnes
Series: A Bit Macabre [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1409362
Comments: 82
Kudos: 483





	Naiveté

“Mm, that’ll make you slap your mama,” the cowboy extols over the whiskey.

“If you slap your mother,” a familiar voice drolls from behind them, “you’re more likely than not going to end up impaled.”

Eggsy slumps in his seat. “Oh, thank fuck. Never been so ‘appy to hear your voice, Auntie.”

The cowboy’s jaw drops. “Auntie?”

Wednesday steps into sight, deftly cuts Eggsy’s bindings. “Yes, aunt. He’s Puglsey’s son, you moron.”

The cowboy blushes. “Aw, shit, cuz. I didn’t know, I swear!”

Eggsy finishes cutting Merlin’s bindings and stands. “This bloke’s a cousin?”

“He is,” Wednesday confirms. “So long as we’re here, you can call him Tequila.”

“Stop!” Ginger Ale bursts in, then freezes. “Miss Addams! I am so sorry. I forgot you were coming today. And… uhm, wait, they’re already cut loose.”

Wednesday’s lips twitch. “They’re from Kingsman.”

Ginger nods, holding out the umbrella. “In London - how?”

Wednesday shrugs. “They recruited my brother about twenty years ago, and my nephew more recently. I suppose it was a bit naive of us not to keep better track of our partners across the pond.”

“So, they ain’t got nothin’ to do with the butterfly guy?” Tequila asks.

Wednesday rolls her eyes. “Did I say that?”

“What the fuck is going on?” Merlin demands.

Eggsy blushes. “Right. Merlin, meet my aunt… what name you goin’ by these days?”

Wednesday glances rather pointedly at her floor length lace gown, complete with corset.

Eggsy grins. “Right. Meet my aunt, Wednesday. And apparently my cousin, Tequila, was it? And sorry, luv, didn’t catch your name.”

“Ginger Ale,” the other woman supplies.

“Right, pleasure. And this is Merlin. What was that about a butterfly guy?”

“Oh, yeah,” Tequila pushes a button on his tablet, and suddenly, there’s Harry.

Merlin falls back into his chair.

Eggsy feels like his heart stops. “Bloody hell…” He turns sharply toward Wednesday. “Tell me you didn’t fucking know.”

Wednesday comes the closest he’s ever seen her to flinching.

He groans. “Of course you fucking did. How in the fuck could you not tell me?!”

“At first I wasn’t sure if he was going to live.”

Eggsy shoots a pointed glance at the dark-haired man hovering over his aunt’s shoulder.

Wednesday rolls her eyes. “Of course I would have brought him back. But if it came to that… it changes people, Eggsy. If it came to that, I had to know he was still someone you would care for.”

“But it didn’t fucking come to that!”

“No, it didn’t. But he’s still not himself, Eggsy.”

“He has retrograde amnesia,” Ginger informs them.

“He doesn’t know you,” Wednesday explains.

“Well how the fuck do we fix him?” Eggsy demands.

“Usually by recreating a traumatic experience, forcing a painful memory,” Ginger explains. “It doesn’t seem to be working with him.”

“Granted, I only know of the experiences Eggsy told me about from training,” Wednesday shrugs elegantly.

“What’ve you tried?” Merlin asks.

Tequila shrugs. “Filled the room with water. Threw him out of a plane after telling him he didn’t have a chute... y'all's training sounds whack, by the way. Can I come try sometime?”

Eggsy grins. “You’ll fuckin’ love it, cuz. There’s this thing with poison and a train, and-”

Merlin cuts him off. “And we haven’t the facilities or resources for any of it, lad. Blown off the fucking map, remember?”

Eggsy winces. “Right. Uh, after we rebuild?”

“Statesman will help with that,” Wednesday assures.

“How’d you know I was here, auntie?”

“That was a surprise, actually.”

“What’re you here for then?”

Bucky smirks and snorts. “She’s been trolling every organization she can think of trying to find Stevie a girlfriend.”

Wednesday rolls her eyes. “He’s maudlin. It’s becoming tiresome.”

“Just admit you want him to be happy.”

“I’ll do no such thing.”


End file.
